Day 48: succulent wild children (guest blogger)

Please welcome Jen to the blog today!  Jen is one of the first blogs that I read and followed besides my sister.  I am honored to have her guest blogging for me!!

It’s an honor to write a guest post for Abbie, because I think she’s doing such important work with her blog. Outside is unfamiliar territory to many of us now.
I’m very lucky in that my tiny back yard butts up against part of our city’s sprawling parks system. Behind us is a triangular piece of wooded land, thick with ivy, scored by deer paths. This is where my kids’ growing freedom is tethered.
Starting with a fallen tree, my kids and about 10 other neighborhood children have crafted an impressive lean-to by propping fallen limbs against the downed tree’s branches. The tree was a giant. The small twigs are long gone, but the large branches have provided the framework for a structure that is now about 5 feet high, and probably measures 8’x6’ inside.
My kids are 8 and almost 6 – the oldest kid who works on this is about 10. When I wander back with parents coming to collect their children for dinner or bedtime, it feels a bit Lord of the Flies back there. I am on edge the entire time I’m back in the woods, waiting for one of the kids to get hurt. We’ve had lots of bruises and scrapes, and one set of sutures from playing out there.
I went out and raided their stash of discarded bottles, which they’d gathered as “treasure.” I was trying to make it safer (and less disgusting) but they were all so upset. I insisted, and threw away two large, heavy garbage bags full of several decades’ worth of bottles and cans.
But how safe can the woods ever be? How safe do I want them to be?
They’ve been scratched by the wall of wild raspberry bushes. They’ve found a dead squirrel that upset them. Once, during the winter, they found that a large bird of prey was squatting in their “fort,” and they ran home screaming in terror, and laughing. They are learning things out there that I can’t teach them in here.

Out there my daughter doesn’t suck her thumb. My boys are treated as equals by the older children. My youngest, not yet 4, is encouraged to help drag branches. She is valued and included in something “cool” and almost secret. And out there, the kids seem to be able to settle arguments that would require my mediation, were I within earshot. The fort is a collaborative project that makes them feel empowered and mature.
Meanwhile, I worry. Of course. I could list my worries, but it would be counter to my point which is that we probably ought to let our kids be wild and get hurt a little and build hideous forts that attracts buzzards to the woods behind our homes. They are steeping in the mud and leaves and wild onions, and that has to be good for helping them to respect the green spaces they find, when they find them.
Don’t forget to comment – you’ll be entered to win Abbie’s giveaway! How do you encourage your kids to get their hands dirty? How do you balance your worries about safety with their desire to explore?

Comments

[Holly]

I completely understand all your worries as a parent. But, what a cool thing!! Seriously, my kids would LOVE to have something so fun. My older daughter is constantly asking my husband to build her a treehouse. And you know, I think as parents it is good for us to give them a little freedom, especially in today's society. We all used to run around the neighborhood for hours on end when we were little. I let my kiddos play out in our yard and the neighbor's yard. They come up with their own games and work out arguments with each other. Children need that little bit of freedom. And they are going to get bumps and scraps along the way.

But all this is coming from me and I let my kids play in the front yard by themselves and I get flack from some of the other neighborhood moms who say things to me like "Oh, I never let my kids play in the front yard."

Thank you for a fun post! :-)

[amber]

This is amazing! How wonderful that your kids are able to use that space. I grew up on a farm and we did stuff like this all the time. We, however, live on the corner of our street, with cars parked all over it and people driving way too fast down it. So my kids don't ever get to play out of my eyesight. Especially after I found out the neighbor's daughter got hit by a car years ago. When we are at my parent's house the kids run and play and explore. They fall down and get back up, they work things out on their own, just like you said. It seems like they engage in their surroundings much more when they are able to explore on their own. Great post!

[Tami]

We currently live at an apartment complex and we are everyday struggling to find ways to get out in nature. We don't have our own piece of "green" to even have a sandbox, let alone build a fort. This post reminds me of when I was young, we had the same sort of adventures down the road from our house. Children thrive on creating their own adventures and learning hands on. I sincerely think those outdoor "teachable moments" I had as a child built my character, my morals and set a path for my future. After all, I did choose environmental education as my degree. I want to be a mom that lets the kids get dirty and run wild in woods. We all need to get back to the days of our childhood and reconnect with nature.

[mom kuhn]

love the fort. Abbie and her childhood buddy Jordan use to explore the creek behind our neighborhood. Not sure I would let the grandkids wander that far in this day and age, but Abb and Jordan survived just fine!It is a balance to trust them and the big wide world out there, not to mention spiders, poison ivy, etc. HA!

[Michelle]

This is amazing. I wish we had open, safe, WILD green space for our kids. Our preschool has wonderful, big outdoor spaces and we have a backyard, but we'd have to drive a ways to get to "wilderness" like this. To be able to let the kids run around out there and be real kids? Jealousized.

It does remind me too of my friend who just moved to Copenhagen telling me about the popularity of "Forest Schools" over there. Basically what you're talking about here, but with pretty much zero adult supervision. So this is really cutting edge pedagogy!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forest_schools

[Rebecca Kelley]

Great post Jen!

I let my three big kids climb through the woods on the side of our property and wade through the creek that runs through my front yard. They look like mud people when they are done, but they have see fish and caught tadpoles, bullfrogs have scared them by groaning from their hiding places and they crafted a little hidden spot at the top of the creek inside the honeysuckle bushes. Kids sometimes need to get muddy and dirty and crazy and silly, and I am happy it happens in our front yard!

[Gina]

Look at you, Jen...a sarcasm-free post! Your writing is beautiful. I am jealous of your piece of nature. If we had one of those, we'd never leave. I just want to find a creek near us...I know L would LOVE it!

[Sara D.]

That's it. I am moving to the woods, where my children will build me a home. And we shall have a pet buzzard. I am not much of an outdoors-y type, but this sounds just magical. And I can see some possibilites for decorating the fort/house in a polka-dot theme.

[jodie]

JEN! So I have to follow you with MY guest post tomorrow? SHIT! You rock and your kids rock and I am SOOOO jealous of your fort! We had a fort when we were kids and I have SO many memories of that time!

[Ellen E.]

I love the idea and practice of letting our kids be wild and dirty and even a bit "Lord of the Flies-ish". I am a bit type-A and I struggle to release my children into the wild sometimes. My husband is a natural at this and routinely gets them soaked, soiled and loving every minute of some adventure he's cooked up. I'm letting go in smaller steps, like letting them climb the very short tree in our yard. But even watching that makes my heart swell. They found a bird's nest, got to pick magnolia blossoms, and have to help each other out of the tight spots. Some of their dirt and sweat might just be rubbing off on me!